Camp Chest Tube Will Be Receiving a Tersely-Worded Yelp Review

The new chest tube was placed around 5:30 pm yesterday, and I’m not gonna lie: The past 24 hours have been pretty rough.

My actual heart transplant incision is fine and healing nicely and bizarrely doesn’t hurt at all. My new heart is beating well and true. And my BP is so incredibly normal, you guys! I’ve gone from 74/47 pre-transplant to something more like 113/72. You cannot imagine how amazing that feels.

But the muscle that the chest tube is penetrating has been an angry, spasming mess that has taken us all on a psychotic roller coaster that has including some pretty loud yelling, lots and lots and LOTS of tears, and emphatic pleas for a higher frequency of pain medication.

I want to send out a HUGE thank you to not just my nursing care team but to nurses everywhere: You make a profound difference in the lives of your patients. Thank you for being such smart diagnosticians and such extreme advocates for those in your care. 

Also, no one is ever allowed to use the word “pigtail” to describe a chest tube again. Ever. If I even hear a rumor that this lighthearted descriptor has escaped your lips, I will hunt you down and cause you actual bodily harm. Don’t make me.

We have now moved me to scheduled pain meds, every 4 hours. This will hopefully close the rollercoaster and allow my body to once again concentrate on healing versus all of the flailing and shouting and gnashing of teeth and stage-whispering of curse words.

Huge thanks to my Best Bubba (my sister Priscilla) and The Boy, who each stepped in to heartily advocate for and physically help me today. I cannot imagine getting through it without you.

Hopefully tomorrow is a much better day.